TUFiatus Ending II: Chickenry

january was a hiatus for everyone here at the TUF, including our five lovely chicken ladies and one pretty/loud rooster.  well, i guess the rooster never goes on hiatus, if you know what i mean.  but the laying ladies took a couple weeks off in january, which i discovered has more to do with the amount of daylight available than anything else.  who knew?  chickens lay best when there are 14 hours of sunlight in which to scratch around.  so as the sun comes back, so do the eggs.  and lately we've been back to our pre-january 2 and 3 eggs a day rate, but i am still waiting on the theoretically predicted but as-yet unmanifested 5 egg day.  that, my friends, will be....well, it'll be a 5 egg day!

the egg in the middle up there is twitter's first viable egg...the tiny gray chick is all grown up!  as she came into laying age, she had a couple "miss-eggs--" two were broken to bits before i could collect them, and one intact one had a distinct beak-shaped hole in it. i can only imagine the surprise a chickendividual might feel when one day one's body produces and then pushes out an ENORMOUS hard-shelled ovoid object. i would probably peck it too.

anyway, they are beautifully dark chocolate brown, and of course delicious!

something a bit odd happened, though; twitter laid about 3 beautiful eggs, then this extremely strange egg, and now has stopped laying anything for a couple weeks. i'm thinking she may still be getting over the shock of having these strange objects emanate from her being.  too bad there's no way to have an honest conversation with chickens re: the ins and outs of poultry puberty.

...which brings me to tumblr, our other feathered pubescent.  at 7 months he has come into his own as a testosterone-laden, crowing, wing-dancing, hen-tackling cockerel.  he is the most dinosaurish thing i've ever seen; weird- and awesome- and creepy-looking!

his comb has really started to stand up, and he struts amongst the girls with such self-importance.  he also REALLY likes to hear himself crow.  often at the most random of times.

in fact, during an overnight thunderstorm recently, he crowed ALL NIGHT. 1 am, RR-RR-RRRRRRR. 3 am, RR-RR-RRRRRRRRRRRRR. to the point where i was imagining being the neighbors and changing his name to "soup."  the next day, we brought eggs to the 3 sets of nearest neighbors and took an informal survey of rooster annoyance.  it's unclear whether the egg bribe influenced their responses, but they all either said they didn't notice (!?) or that it wasn't bad enough to detract from their quality of life.  we left the door open for honest rooster complaints, but so far none have come up.  for the moment, tumblr stays tumblr in all his colorful, noisy glory.

a word on eggs: i have not noticed any difference in the taste or appearance of the eggs that have been laid since tumblr started getting eggy with the ladies.  i can only assume some of them have been fertilized, but there hasn't been any strangeness/grossness associated with this fact.  and as long as he stays this side of fatally annoying, i would like to dabble in chicken genetics perhaps....especially around growing fancy colored eggs!  ambitious? yes, and not for the near future.  but i am having a boutique egg farm fantasy....

at any rate, these are the newest developments from the TUFlock. we're glad to be getting eggs again, and i look forward to spring, where i believe an egg bonanza may be had! 14 hours of sunlight, 5 laying hens, here we come! chicks? gardens? a new coop? so many possibilities await in 2012!

wait, that's not a chicken!

November Random Ramblings

remember this?  these two tiny chicks?  back in june i regaled you, Dear Reader, with pictures and anecdotes about our brand new fuzzy fluffy chicks, and wondered who they would become and what they would look like.  not surprisingly, they became grown up chickens.  it has been fascinating to see their progress, and i look forward to their first egg probably toward the middle of december!

tumblr now!

tumblr then...

twitter now!

twitter then...

tumblr has grown into a very fancy chicken, her feathers a riot of shiny greens and subtle yellows, bright oranges and dark reds.  twitter has matured into a lovely soft-plumed blue marans, with the rather odd dual effect of being an attractive bird and looking a bit like a buzzard.  they aren't quite full-grown yet, but they are truly coming into their own as full-fledged (literally!) members of the TUFlock.  i can't wait to see what their eggs look (and taste!) like.

speaking of eggs, sammo/bolo/pearl/ninja have been laying like gangbusters, and i was able to create a whole mess of delicious egg salad finger sandwiches for a recent family dinner party.  there is something quite satisfying about hard-boiling a slew of home grown eggs!

the laying ladies have slowed up a little with the time/season change, it would appear, but i'm sure they'll be back to normal eggliferation soon.  i deeply appreciate their contribution to our household and, indeed, my psyche: one recent tuesday night, i was feeling a bit sorry for myself after a hard day at work.  it seemed that nothing could lift my spirits, that i was glued to the couch by the potent adhesive combination of lonesome and lazy.  then, i had a sunny side up idea...

...that i promptly made into huevos rancheros!    the evening was saved by the chicken(s) and the egg(s).  amazing how home-made good food can change one's perspective in an instant.  another case in point: dungeness crab and asparagus, prepared by TUF chef dan one recent evening in which we had the fortune to eat together at home...

granted, no eggs here....only my FAVORITE seafood item, and one of my FAVORITE vegetables.  i'm just going to go ahead and say a few things about dungeness crab: 1) it's better than lobster 2) it's better than any other crab, including king crab 3) it's one of the most ethical seafoods out there.  (that's right, i said it's better than lobster, cuz it is!  and it's cheaper!  why are you not eating it right now?  why am i not?)

Spot, helping make copies

handy Hairelena

in other news, it's thanksgiving break!   i have so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to.  the science class pets, Hairelena and Spot, have come home for the break, so they have added their ranks to our veritable home zoo.  other members of the household have barely noticed the newcomers, preferring to focus on the recent addition of a new fuzzy blanket to the living room couch:

or hope that something awesome is going to fall out of the sky:

at any rate, the holidays approacheth, and my favorite time of the year is upon us.  an important school long haul is over, and we are settling into our new schedule. last night i woke to the sound of Big Rain, and today was coolish, sunny and windswept.  this week there will be family, friends and food...more on that, and other adventures, to come!  november on the TUF in the ATX!  i am giving thanks!

Cleaning Colonel Snuggles

Dear Reader, you hear about chickens and cooking a lot from the TUF.  and there will be more on those topics coming soon, though i've clearly been a bit delinquent lately.  but i believe that it is time i address a topic dear to my heart, tangential to the business of TUF philosophy and food: the care and husbandry of the singular Colonel Snuggles.

he is a member of the species Cavia porcellus, the guinea pigs.  his kind originated in high mountain meadows in the shadows of the formidable Andes, providing a source of both food and companionship for native peoples.  his ancestor charmed queen elizabeth I, enjoying the royal lifestyle and lavish vegetarian menus cavies desire and deserve. his close wild relative is the largest rodent in the world, the aquatic and adorable capybara.  it's possible i'm biased.  i LOVE guinea pigs.  specifically Colonel Snuggles.

the Colonel lives in our living room in a perpetually open-door house designed for a rabbit, so it is a veritable guinea pig mansion.  it is a split-level affair, with two hammocks and a tshirt-covered ledge comprising the upper level, and the traditional bedding (care-fresh recycled woodpulp mixed with natural lavender compostable granules) below.  he fully participates in most family room activities, is cordial with our other pets, and gets dedicated couch/lap time most days.  he has a special ball full of timothy hay and a bowl of the finest guinea pig pellets for his gastronomic enjoyment, and his day is not complete unless he partakes of a fresh spinach and baby lettuce mix salad.  though a strict vegan, he maintains a portly composition at a solid 2 pounds.  his impressive size is enhanced by his dense and fluffified fur.  he is, in short, Absolutely Precious.  And absolutely spoiled rotten.

though guinea pigs are practically perfect in every way, like all of us they have some less than delicate habits and tendencies.  for instance, cavies are coprophages--rather than chewing a bovinian cud, they create special poops that they re-eat to facilitate the digestion of all that dietary roughage.  yup, special poops.  and, the boars (that's what you call male guinea pigs) really like to mark their territory by peeing in a spot and then d-r-a-g-g-i-n-g their substantial bellies through it, ensuring more complete scent coverage on both the area and themselves.  the Colonel is a boar, and is no exception.  luckily, through multi-level caviomansion technology and regular attendance to bedding cleanliness, Colonel Snuggles generally maintains high levels of snuggleability. but occasionally...say, every couple months or so...a bath is in order.

there is another aspect to the little darling boars.  they produce...well, a musk.  grease, really.  from a grease gland, a strange sticky dot where their tail should be on their fluffy butts.  unfortunately, the Colonel's grease gland was becoming unbecoming.  and everyone needs a toe-nail trim every once in awhile!  so, today Colonel Snuggles had a guinea pig full-service spa treatment.

*A NOTE: guinea pigs do not enjoy spa days especially.  they do enjoy being kept clean and fresh in fresh and clean environments. but, if you have a traumatized guinea pig or one whose health is compromised in any way, or one who just seems really opposed to any of the following caviogrooming activities, i don't recommend continuing them.  the Colonel is a highly tolerant and forgiving guinea pig, and i am honored to have his trust.  but he certainly complains sometimes when receiving full-service spa care, and if yours screams bloody murder or goes terrified-catatonic, please cease and desist! END OF NOTE*

i assembled the necessary items: many towels of different sizes, a dye-free fragrance-free all natural puppy/kitten shampoo, sharp high-quality tiny toenail trimmers, a soft slicker brush, and some gojo.  yeah, the stuff car mechanics use to get heavy duty grease off their hands.  for the grease gland.  (it's a good thing these dirty boars are so adorable!!) i then included an as-yet unsuspicious Colonel.

to facilitate nail trimming and reduce squirmage, i practice a technique called 'burritoing' with a clean dishtowel.  (if he didn't suspect something out of the ordinary was happening before, he does now...)





the best way to trim anyone's nails is to be very conservative, shaving the very tips off at first and ever so gradually easing toward the quick.  Colonel Snuggles has light colored nails, so it's pretty easy to see where his quick begins.

way too long!

much better!

the trimming of the toenails is really the most stressful part on both human and cavy.  next was the cleaning of the grease gland with gojo creme--a technique i had read about, but had not yet tried.  it worked like a charm! i used paper towels to dab tiny amounts of gojo onto his grease gland and the surrounding fluff, and after working it in for mere moments, the grease wiped off easily.

dirty grease gland

fresh clean grease gland!

soapy suds

and then, of course, the final spa treatment: the bath.  i do his bath in the kitchen sink, dish towel on the sink floor to make him feel more secure, water warm but not near hot.  the bath is definitely not his favorite, but he suffers through it for the drying off afterwards!


after a thorough wet-down, lather up, and rinse off (with EXTREMELY GENTLE shampoo!), it's time to start the drying process.  i have read that some caviobathers employ a hairdryer for this.  i don't own one, so i just use multiple towels and the air.  he has never caught a chill, though i've heard that guinea pigs are prone to them.  he loves to shake and groom himself dry, and i help by providing warm towels, fresh from the dryer!  guinea pig spa!

the indignant post-bath Colonel.

almost dry, but not totally for hours

cleaned house!

it's not a bad idea to hand-launder your guinea pig while you machine-launder other things, like hammocks or other dirty cage accoutrements.  guinea pigs LOVE to be home in a freshly cleaned mansion that they can proceed to freshly pee-mark to their hearts' content.

clean hammocks installed

so as the Colonel spends some time under a warm towel in his post-spa beerbox, i set up his caviomansion.  he's almost ready to get back to the normal day of munching, petting and napping.

warm towel treatment

frantic after-bath groom session

back to normal!

so there you have the rundown of the Colonel's approximately quarterly spa session, a regimen i highly recommend for spoiled, patient guinea pigs everywhere. for some video evidence of the Colonel's adorability...

here is a post bath shake off, which he also employs after receiving multiple nose-kisses.

here he demonstrates his appreciation for a good petting session.

here he shows his rather spastic enthusiasm for a paper towel.

anyway, Dear Reader, thank you for accompanying Colonel Snuggles on his journey from stinky boar to decidedly unstinky fluffy flufferness.  more traditional TUF stuff to come.  as always...stay tuned!